Catch Up

Sunday 31st March 2019

Well it’s been quite a long time since I’ve written a blog post and there’s a few reasons for that: feeling uninspired, having a lack of things to write about, having no time to write, and generally no motivation. But today was the day that everything fell into place for me; I realised how far I’ve come, how much I’ve changed, and how much I’ve achieved and I suddenly became motivated to blog once again.

So 2019 for me started with an unexpected change in my life. I spent the first couple of weeks of January wondering where everything went wrong, doubting myself, blaming myself, and being hopeful that things would resolve themselves. Then someone came into my life from a few years ago who helped me realise that holding onto a maybe is self destructive and actually following something new would give me the fresh start I needed. 

I started a new job in January where I was doing what I love; teaching. The classes I taught not only boosted my confidence, but I learnt so much from the students. They were such characters and always kept the day interesting. My colleagues accepted me really quickly, and there was never a dull moment, especially with some of the conversations in the staff room! Within my first few days I made a friend for life - for anonymity I’ll call them Alice - who’s had my back from day one. It’s amazing how quickly someone becomes such a big part of your life from only knowing them a short time - guess that's what true friendship is! This person is there for me no matter what, whether it’s letting me rant for hours on end about the same thing, or coming to rescue me when I’m having a bad day, and for that I am truly grateful they’re in my life. (You know who you are, thank you for all you do for me, Alice). 

I’m not ashamed to admit that I’ve been going to therapy since the middle of January. It’s incredibly brave to not only admit that you need help, but to actively go and seek it; too many people acknowledge that they need help but won’t take the next step to actually find it. My therapist is amazing - she makes me laugh, she understands me, and she tailors herself to suit my needs. I’ve had roughly 10 sessions with her and I’ve noticed such an improvement to the way I think and how I deal with situations. I started therapy feeling like a turtle - a hard exterior shell but with the ability to withdraw myself easily and quickly in difficult or frightening situations - but now I feel like a lioness. I do love an analogy! 

My job that I enjoyed so much at the start of the year came to an abrupt end but within a few days I was offered a another job much closer to home. I was told I was exactly what they were looking for and I’d be a perfect match for the school - to say that was what I needed to hear is an understatement. I’ve also finally had confirmation that after years of blood, sweat, and many many tears, I’ll be starting my teacher training in September! The uni and the school I’ll be working with are just what I want; everyone is really friendly, supportive, and they’ve boosted my confidence so much already. It’s taken me so long to get to this point following a number of rejections and career/job changes but I’m finally on the right path to the career I’ve always wanted. 

I’ve lost friendships, but I’ve also gained and rekindled friendships as well. It’s important to have loved ones surrounding you, especially having friends, and it means so much when you rekindle a friendship that you know is solid and true. Meeting up with someone after not seeing them for years but it feeling like no time has passed at all is such a wonderful feeling.  

Other awesome achievements I need to mention are: passing my theory test, being offered several interviews (teacher training and job offers), positive change in my physical and mental health, my knitting business taking off, and being so close to passing my practical driving test.

2019 is definitely my year - it’s only been 3 months but I’ve already achieved so much that I didn’t think possible, and I’m really excited for what else there is to come! 

Happy Sunday x